Today I did it!
18 years after I first thought about doing it, today I finally did it!
What the hell am I talking about?
Today I dropped into a skateboard ramp!
So what? You say...
Well, to tell the truth I have not been thinking about getting on a
skateboard in a long time. In fact the only reason I was even in the
vicinity of a skateboard ramp was because I was so frustrated trying to
finish my book (which will be released toward the end of April), and I
just needed some way to vent my frustrations!
So enjoying extreme sport as I do, and remembering fondly my days of living in Whistler BC, snowboarding in the mountains...
...I thought "what the hell!"...
"I feel so shitty I need some way to make myself feel GREAT!"
So, borrowing a friends skateboard I headed over the ramp... ready to indulge in some adrenaline pumping fun.
But after a short time just rocking backwards and forwards, my ambition got the better of me...
"I haven't managed to drop into a skateboard ramp since I first tried at 6 years old" I thought to myself.
Actually, I can still remember that somewhat humiliating day:
standing at the top of my local ramp with enough safety gear strapped
on to bounce off a moving locamotive uninjured! Yet, as I stood up
there, with my Dad shouting encouragement, I knew that I couldn't do it.
It was too high.
I may get seriously injured.
I hadn't done it before, so I didn't know how to do it.
So, today as I walked around to the side of the ramp and climbed the
ladder, I considered the few other "attempts" I'd made as a teenager to
drop into a skateboard ramp.
None had happened, and I'd never really committed to doing it. There was always a reason I could think of for NOT doing it.
"I'm feeling a little bit off."
"Tomorrow the weather will be sunnier."
"When I see someone else do it first."
"When I see someone else like me do it first."
"When I see someone else like me do it several times."
"When I see someone else WORSE then me do it."
And today I felt so frustrated I just knew that the only way to make
myself feel good again was to break through some barrier... and on the
spur of the moment, I decided that THIS was going to be it.
Around the side of the ramp I trotted... and then up the ladder.
Looking down the ramp, I felt a familiar sense of apprehension.
But today I blocked it off. I wasn't going to let myself feel anything that would rob me of what I wanted.
And I wanted to drop into that damn ramp!
So firstly I visualized for a couple of seconds.
I saw myself placing the skateboard over the edge of the drop, and
my feet positioning themselves over the tail and the nose, so that I
was perfectly balanced, ready to go!
Then I FELT myself lean forward and push the nose down the fall
line, smoothly dropping my body weight down the incline, flattening
out, and then racing up the other side... and I felt the emotions of
MAKING IT!
I felt my heart beat faster and my breathing speed up. I felt the
relief of doing something that although minor, was still a fear that
had controlled a some of my actions in the past, and felt the release
of BEATING THE HELL out of one of my old fears.
Then before stepping on my board, I quickly looked for my back up
plan: what I was going to do if things didn't go the way I wanted and I
fell.
To feel really confident I wanted to know what I would do to avoid
injury, and KNOW that it would work well enough to keep me safe (as
possible).
And, after taking the couple of moments it took to do these two
things (about 60 seconds), and before I had enough time to "second
guess" myself and freak out...
... I dropped.
At first I thought I was going to make it.
But I thought too soon.
About 3 microseconds after dropping I leant too far back and BOOM.
Down I went, trapping my left ankle underneath myself and twisting it
slightly.
But, before I had enough time to consider the pain, I ran straight
back up the ramp (screw the ladder) and positioned myself for another
drop...
... BOOM.
This time I had over compensated and leant too far forward, so that
when the ramp transitioned from steep to flat my weight catapulted me
over the nose... and I went sliding up the other side of the ramp on my
back!
I wasn't discouraged though because I KNEW.
Knew that I could make it. Knew that I was going to make myself make it.
Sure I was sore. Those falls stung like hell (as I write this my skinned elbows are stinging with sweat on my desk).
But I get more pain from not getting a
result that I want, then the physical or emotional pain of failing when I try.
For me, NOT trying hurts more then failing.
It took me another 2 falls before I started to really MAKE it.
And oh shit, you should have heard me shout the first time I went screaming up the other side of that ramp VICTORIOUS!
The point of this story is this:
You may NEVER have approached women your whole life.
You may NEVER have been able to start making- out with a woman in less then 5 minutes of meeting her.
But the key to learning these things is not thinking more, or reading more.
No.
The key is DOING things.
The key is pushing your limits!
You can't expect to be good at tennis because you read one book on
technique. In fact, you could read hundreds of books on technique, and
you would STILL be a complete beginner!
To be great with women you must be out there MEETING THEM! Interacting with them! Talking to them! Screwing up with them!
And if you are prepared to take the falls, hits, victories, failures... moments of intense joy... moments of humiliation...
You just might get great with women!
It's not a "theory".
It's not a technique you "understand".
It's a SKILL you acquire through DOING.
When is the pain of not-trying going to hurt more then the pain of failure?
When you're 20?
When you're 30?
When you're 40?
When you're 50?
When you're 60?
When you're 70?
When you're 80?
How long are you going to let this fear dictate your life?
You can overcome it any time you want.
But how much missing out do you have to do before you decide not-taking-shots hurts more then missing the shots you do take.
Just a thought.
John
