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5 Sexual Myths Destructive to Your Relationship
by Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.
In this era where sex seems to be on the mind of everyone and talked
about more openly than ever before, it is surprising that there
continues to be a lot of misinformation and misconceptions. These
myths perpetuate unhealthy patterns of relating, expectations and
satisfaction and have the potential to destroy a relationship.
Don’t allow your relationship to be prey to the following myths:
1. A Good Relationship Shouldn’t Have Any Sex Problems
All couples will probably experience some sexual problems at some
point. This does not mean your relationship is over or not a good
one. If the problems are not addressed and worked out, then your
relationship could be in jeopardy, but the mere existence of problems
is not a sign of failure, it’s a normal part of relationships. Your
partner’s sexual needs may change over time. Stress and major life
changes are an inevitable part of everyone’s life. These kinds of
issues can cause change in levels of desire, satisfaction etc. and will
require periods of adjustment.
2. Size Matters
This simply is not true. In an attempt to make money, the media
continues to keep this destructive myth alive, making men feel
inadequate and self-conscious. They set up expectations that are
impossible for a man to live up to and make them falsely believe that
this is what a woman wants. This is absurd. You do not need
a big penis to be an incredible lover and satisfy your woman. Only the
first third of a woman’s vagina has nerve endings for feeling, the
other two thirds has no feeling, so even a small penis is quite capable
of stimulating the first third. What are most important to a woman is
what kind of lover you are, what kind of person you are, how you feel
about her and how you treat her. Making your woman feel loved, special,
cherished, appreciated and desired will make sex great for her.
3. A Woman Should Orgasm with Intercourse Alone
The majority of women cannot orgasm with intercourse alone, regardless
of how big the penis is, because it does not provide sufficient
stimulation to the clitoris. Many couples struggle needlessly,
believing that one of them is doing something wrong if they are not
able to achieve this. Using positions that stimulate the clitoris
during intercourse may work for some, such as the woman on top or the
riding high missionary. You can also stimulate the clitoris with a
finger or a vibrator during intercourse or give your woman her
satisfaction by pleasuring her orally or manually.
4. My Partner Should Know How to Pleasure Me Without My Telling Them
Your partner is not a mind reader. Lack of communication is one of the
biggest factors in sexual dissatisfaction. Yes, most people know the
basics, but everyone has unique sexual needs that only they are aware
of. You must teach your partner what it is that you need.
Don’t be shy! Be specific and detailed.
5. It Shouldn’t Take Work to Keep Passion Alive
Yes, we would all love to live in the land of fairy tales, but
unfortunately it just does not exist! Once again the media is largely
responsible for promoting an ideal that just isn’t realistic.
Relationships go through cycles and levels of passion will vacillate.
In the early stages of love passion is a blazing inferno that can’t be
put out and doesn’t require any work, but as the relationship
progresses, passion will not stay alive without effort. You must
nurture your relationship to keep passion alive.
About the author
Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., is a sex counselor/educator and author helping
monogamous couples increase sexual satisfaction, be better lovers and keep the passion alive. She is also author of the hot new sex guide for couples titled, "The Lovemaking Smorgasbord - A Couple's Menu for Feeding Passion & Fidelity." Subscribe to her FREE Monthly Ezine, Smoldering Embers Sex Tip of the Month and get hot sex tips, techniques and secrets guaranteed to keep your fire burning.
http://www.smolderingembers.com/smorgasbord.html or send any email to this address smolderingembers-subscribe@topica.com |
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