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| DO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE HER FRIEND?
The most humane way to say goodbye to a woman you’re not interested in is to never ask for her home phone number to begin with. But if you have alread... |
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Excuse the long story, Doc!
I met a girl on the bus who immediately showed great interest in me
(she asked me a ton of questions and kept touching my arm) but the next
day on the bus, she seemed to ignore me!
I asked her on a date, and she was very enthusiastic about the idea,
almost jumping for joy; but when I asked her for her phone number, she
told me that she usually didn't give it to strangers and that I should
email her instead. I thought this was a little strange, but I sent her
an email anyway - and got no response.
A couple of days later, I told her that I hadn’t received her e-mail
and she replied that she had been having problems with her computer and
didn't have a chance to read it yet. I kept waiting in vain for her
message until I finally decided to forget all about her.
I saw her again on the bus and kinda ignored her. After a few minutes,
she changed seats to sit next to me. She then asked me if I wanted to
go to a bar with her and have a drink. I said yes, and while we were
there, she was all over me, asking me when we were going on our date
because she couldn't wait any more! At that moment, she offered me her
phone number, asked for mine, and made me promise to call her.
I asked her out and she accepted. Then the day before our date, she
told me that a few of her friends she hardly ever sees asked her out on
the same day and that I was invited to join them. I told her no,
because she had a date with me that night and that she had to make up
her mind to either go out with me or with her friends. She chose me,
and we went out. It was fun, but she wasn't as flirty as before. In
fact, she seemed a little nervous.
I later called her house for another date and her brother said she
wasn't home. I left my phone number and asked him to have her call me
back. She never called. She later told me that her brother told her
“someone” had called, but not who. Of course, I didn't know if she was
telling the truth.
When I asked her out for another date she told me that she that she was
very busy and stressed out with her final exams, and that she couldn’t
go out until they were over.
After her exams, I saw her again. She told me that she finally had time
for our date and was looking forward to it. I told her I would call the
next day with the details, but she said I couldn't because she moved
out of her parents' house and that she now temporarily lives with a
girlfriend; therefore, she would call me. She then asked me for my
phone number again because she left it at her parents' house.
Well, surprise – I never received a phone call. Apparently, she had
gone on vacation and even though she is now back, I haven’t received
her call. It has been about three weeks since I’ve seen or heard from
her. I don't have her new phone number so I can't call her myself.
Is this girl still interested in me? If not, then why would she flirt
with me and tell me she wants to go out? Why would she ask for my phone
number again and tell me she would call me if she had no intentions of
doing so? She could have easily said that she didn't have time or she
just could have not mentioned it at all.
Please tell me what you think of this. I would be very grateful!
Trevor – who wants to know if he’s getting the run-around
Hi Trevor,
Whew! This girl has more excuses than Johnnie Cochran has police conspiracy theories!
Seriously, the number of times she lost your number was evidence enough
that her Interest Level for you was lower than whale fertilizer. If she
had the number of a guy she actually liked, she would have tattooed the
digits on her stomach to prevent her from losing it!
And if attempting to break your date so she could see her friends was
bad enough, asking you to tag along was - as my cousin Rabbi Love would
say - “Pure Chutzpah!” In this way, she could play with her buddies and
make a fool of you at the same time (I have to give you kudos though
for showing a backbone and getting the “N” word {no} out. Obviously,
she acted nervous afterward - she was pouting over the way you busted
her on her brazen act of disrespect!).
Even though your girl acted excited at times, it means nothing. She may
be on drugs – or more likely: she’s campaigning for an Academy Award in
the “Faking High Interest Level” category.
Contrary to the way you and many other men have been brainwashed, love
is not complicated. When a woman likes you, she goes out with you –
period. There are no conditions, curve balls, no need for her to call
back, nor surprises. Consistency is the MO of a woman with a good
attitude and high Interest Level. Sadly, Trevor, the only thing your
woman is consistent about is her excuses.
So, why would a sane woman spend so much time and energy just to waste
your time? Well, look at it this way: all women are born flirts; but
while most of them only enjoy seeing trying to get a reaction from guys
they like, a small sociopathic minority enjoys male strokes so much
that they flirt with all guys, even those that mean absolutely nothing
to them. To them, toying with a man’s affections is nothing but pure
entertainment. The problem is, when guys take this game seriously,
their hearts get beat up.
Thankfully, The “System” is there to help. It’s a screening process
that saves you time and protects your heart from game players. If you
had followed it consistently, Trevor, you would have thrown this girl
out of your life the first time she asked you to e-mail her. That’s OK
– you’ll know for the next time.
Guys, when a woman acts like she likes you half of the time and acts
cold the other half (before you are married!), it’s a huge red flag. As
my cousin Fast Eddie Love would say: “Next!”
About the author
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in
his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do
you stay with one man versus another?"
Guys, e-mail me at doclove@doclove.com
with your love challenges. All will be answered, but because of space, only
letters of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The
"System" visit me at: www.doclove.com or
(800) 404-2644. Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who
coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of
women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" |
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Seriously, the number of times she lost your number was evidence enough that her Interest Level for you was lower than whale fertilizer. If she had the number of a guy she actually liked, she would have tattooed the digits on her stomach to prevent her from losing it!
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