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| Just Can\'t Forget The Abusive Ex
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Dear Doc Love,
I met this girl on a dating website. We began by talking on the phone
for a while, and then we went out on a first date. The date went great:
it ended at 1:30am, when she gave me the most passionate kiss I ever
got in my life.
Our second date went well too, but I think I messed up on our third
date. She asked me to meet her parents before we left for the beach. I
admit that I had a couple of drinks before I came by (her father could
tell, but her mother just thought I was a nice guy). By the time we got
to the restaurant, the alcohol really took effect and I was falling
asleep at the table. Apparently I also spent about ten minutes in the
bathroom (I don't even remember this).
I sent her flowers and apologized. She said she forgave me, but was
sensitive about this because her ex was an alcoholic. I mentioned going
to a concert of her choice, but she immediately said, “I think they're
sold out" and that she needed time to "sort things out" and that before
the drinking incident, she thought I was "cool."
What can you read into this?
Mike – who wants to know if he should let her go?
Hi Mike,
Blacking out during a date… gee, guy, do you think you might have a
drinking problem? Your girl said she forgave you for your antics, but I
think she was just trying to let you down easy. The fact is,
intoxication and church girls don’t mix.
Your girl let you go – you have it backwards, Mike. From the first date
to the third date, you took her Interest Level from around 75% to down
below 49% (the point of no return). Her refusal of your concert date
was a classic example of “Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen”: she
thought you were “cool” before the incident, not after. At that moment,
you couldn’t have revived her Interest Level by giving her the keys to
a Turbo Bentley, let alone concert tickets.
Mike, you need to understand something about the current dating
climate. The “System” says that 90% of the time, the man doesn’t make
it past 60 days with a woman (I call this “The 60-Day Rule”). During
this period, women are most susceptible to being turned off by male
weaknesses. Depending on her values, you could be history by showing
bad table manners, by stiffing the waiter, or by walking up to her
doorstep wearing dirty shoes (a mercenary would disqualify you if your
house is worth less than a million dollars). I hate to break it to you,
Mike, but passing out at the dinner table is a turnoff for almost all
women.
Rather than look at a man’s positives, many women today search for
faults (You can thank the Feminstas for putting this chip on their
shoulders). Because of this dating reality, Mike, you can’t afford to
show up to a date under the influence of a mind-altering substance. To
do so, is to fight the “Battle of the Sexes” by handing an M-16 to the
enemy!
And if keeping a clear head is important on a normal date, Mike, how
much truer is this when you meet a girl’s parents for the first time?
Think! You were obviously doing well to have made it to that stage -
why blow it by showing up to her parents’ house drunk?
Your mistake, Mike, was thinking that alcohol would loosen you up and
make you appear more “laid-back” and therefore more confident. The
truth is, drinking too much only makes a woman think you’re an
alcoholic. Only guys who play in rock bands can raise a woman’s
Interest Level by getting plastered – if you’re a normal guy, it only
disgusts her.
If you had been married to her for ten years and pulled this stunt, she
probably would have forgiven you, (because women, like unions, believe
in seniority) but her Interest Level was high for too short of a time.
Therefore, you went from a having a woman who tried to suck your tongue
out of your mouth on the first date, to a woman who thinks you belong
in rehab.
Now, if it were possible for you to know that her ex was a boozer ahead
of time, you could have used that information to your advantage and
avoided his mistakes. In other words, you would have sworn off beer and
spirits and told her you were the President of the local Temperance
Union.
Mike, your drinking turned her off, plus, you got her dad to hate you.
I would cut my losses at this point and learn from the experience. So,
do not call her. But if she should call you, then ask her out – but
this time: leave Jack Daniels in the bottle where he belongs.
About the author
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in
his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do
you stay with one man versus another?"
Guys, e-mail me at doclove@doclove.com
with your love challenges. All will be answered, but because of space, only
letters of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The
"System" visit me at: www.doclove.com or
(800) 404-2644. Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who
coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of
women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" |
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| Article Overview |
Blacking out during a date… gee, guy, do you think you might have a drinking problem? Your girl said she forgave you for your antics, but I think she was just trying to let you down easy. The fact is, intoxication and church girls don’t mix.
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