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| Eight First Date Ideas
It’s always nerve wracking trying to come up with an affordable, appropriate, interesting first date idea. You don’t want to come across as too eager,... |
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Hi Doc,
I love your articles and writing style. I've
been out on one date with this woman and I wanted to do things right,
so I ordered the "System”. The problem is that your stuff probably
won't get to me for a few days (maybe a week?) and I think I need help!
Here are the facts:
We met, I asked for her number, waited a week
and we made plans to meet downtown at an Orioles baseball game. Things
went pretty well, except she was asking me a lot of questions and I
couldn't seem to turn the tables on her. I felt like I was on the hot
seat! I didn’t' tell her anything revealing and I tried to keep it
light. I think I did okay because at one point she complimented me on
my shirt and told me I reminded her of someone famous, although she
couldn't remember who (hopefully, not Jack the Ripper!). Anyhow, the
only downside was that the date seemed to end quickly due to the fact
that we realized when we were leaving, that we were parked in totally
opposite directions. I did offer to walk her to her car, but she said
it was late and politely declined. Does this mean anything?
I definitely want to ask this woman out again
and I have a couple of questions. Exactly how long should I wait to
call after the first date and is it too much pressure to suggest that
the next date be a Saturday night dinner date? Also, should I leave her
a message if I get her answering service and wait to see if she calls
me back or should I try to get her in person?
Isaiah – who appreciates any help you can give
Hi Isaiah,
First of all Isaiah, congratulations for
having the patience and discipline to wait a full seven days to call
this girl. The average guy with a hot phone number is like an
un-housebroken puppy in a newly carpeted living room. It doesn't take
long for him to lose control and when he does, he makes a big mess out
of everything. Unlike those panting pups, you Isaiah used the most
powerful dating strategy available to mankind, if he has the guts to
use it - Challenge. When you give a woman some time to wonder why
you haven't called, she's even more interested in you when you finally
do. Holding back makes you more intriguing, mysterious and way more
desirable!
I also commend you for working hard to keep
the conversation focused on your date rather than yourself. Now here's
a tip: When she's peppering you with questions and you find yourself
getting uncomfortable, just ask her the same or a similar question to
the one that she's just asked you. It's often easier than wracking your
brain for new things to ask and it keeps you both on the same
wavelength.
Also remember that curiosity is often a sign
of high interest, so I'm glad your date was asking you lots of
questions. Compare her behavior to all the women you've met who hardly
asked you one thing about yourself. They make you wonder: "Gee is this
girl totally lacking a personality or is it just me?"
Next, let me recommend that from now on you
always pick your date up at her home. There are many reasons for doing
this: 1) It's the chivalrous and gentlemanly thing to do. 2) You get to
spend more time getting to know each other while driving together. 3) A
woman who won't allow you to pick her up at her home is either uptight
or has low Interest Level.
What you still should have done was to simply
start walking your date to her car without asking her if it was OK.
That way you appear to be confident and classy, and you can't be
faulted for being protective of her. If she insists on going it alone,
then it's even more clear that she's not even close to starting to
think of you as her hero. You have to ask yourself: would a woman who
likes and respects me not want me to walk her to her car late at night
in a ballpark parking lot full of beer guzzling
crazies? When she "politely declined” your offer Isaiah, that was a big
red flag. Her excuse for not having you escort her was "it’s late".
Wait a minute. It's late? All the more reason for a lady to want a
gentleman to escort her to her car. So obviously, you've gotten some
mixed messages from this gal.
Your next step is to flush her out by getting
her on the phone (do not leave any messages) and ask her out for a
weeknight. Let her wonder whom you're saving your weekends for. That
way you are seen as.... you guessed it...a Challenge. And make sure to
ask her for her home address so you can pick her up. If she balks, as
they say in baseball, it's time for you to bunt and tear up her phone
number. Many women would argue and say, "but she hardly knows him". To
those women I say: Have you ever let a guy pick you up at your house on
the first date? Their honest answer would be: "Well, only when my
Interest Level in him was high.”
Remember guys, a woman with high Interest
Level is consistently positive and never gives you mixed signals in the
game of love.
About the author
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in
his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do
you stay with one man versus another?"
Guys, e-mail me at doclove@doclove.com
with your love challenges. All will be answered, but because of space, only
letters of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The
"System" visit me at: www.doclove.com or
(800) 404-2644. Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who
coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of
women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" |
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| Article Overview |
Next, let me recommend that from now on you always pick your date up at her home. There are many reasons for doing this: 1) It's the chivalrous and gentlemanly thing to do. 2) You get to spend more time getting to know each other while driving together. 3) A woman who won't allow you to pick her up at her home is either uptight or has low Interest Level.
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