Hi Doc,
My problem is
that I’m almost positive that I have a woman who’s losing interest in me. We
have been dating for five months now, but within the last month, we have been
seeing less and less of each other, even though we work in the same building.
In the
beginning, she used to call me before my break so we could meet outside the
building for a smoke. Now she rarely calls - she just shows up. One could say
that I’m getting worried over nothing – if it weren’t for the fact that this is
only one of many signs that I've picked up.
I want to know
what happened to her Interest level - at what point did it crash? What were the
other signs that I missed? I know that in the beginning of the relationship, I
wasn’t much of a Challenge to her.
If I did not
love this woman so much I would just chuck it all - but I think she’s
definitely worth investing whatever it takes to get her high Interest Level
back. Thanks.
George – who wants to know
the truth
Hi George,
Unless she
catches you in bed with another person, the woman’s high Interest Level does
not drop like a rock – it drops gradually, in five stages.
Before we
discuss the five stages, George, let’s talk about your case. Although it deals
with one woman - your girlfriend – the principles apply to clinically sane
women everywhere.
Right now, you are starting to
get bad vibes from your girlfriend or as I put it: your stomach is talking to
you. You are asking yourself, “Am I sensing a problem or am I making something
out of nothing?” Answer: the former - you are intuitively sensing the decline
of her Interest Level.
But intuition is not enough,
George. That’s where I come in - I articulate what the man’s guardian angel,
his stomach, is warning him about his relationship (this is another thing that
sets me apart from the other love doctors). I then provide him with the
time-tested principles of The “System” to improve his situation.
The man’s
intuition is sent into alarm mode whenever he senses any inconsistencies in the
woman’s behavior. He may conclude that nothing is drastically wrong, but he’s
positive that the intensity of the woman’s feelings isn’t as great as it once
was. It’s a good thing he notices these behavioral changes, because when a
woman is inconsistent, it means she’s losing Interest Level in him.
The first change you may notice
in the woman is that she stops complimenting you or laughing at your silly
jokes. For some reason, she no longer minds if you go out with the boys like
she did when her Interest Level was in the stratosphere. This is the first
stage of Interest Level drop-off: it has dropped to 75% or perhaps even lower -
down to 66% IL.
Stage Two
begins when she doesn’t initiate touching
like she did in the heated good old days. Before, she used to grab your arm
when crossing the street - now she just jumps the curb first and says, “Hurry
up, slowpoke.” You are between 56% and 65% IL at this level.
Stage Three
(51% to 55% IL) is where the arguments and zingers begin. The disagreements
start out as small and infrequent, but later intensify as her IL gets closer
and closer to the point of no return: the 49% IL mark – or the beginning of
Stage Four.
At Stage Four,
the woman is with you - but in truth, you are history. In addition to the
arguments - which by now, have become constant and brutal – the woman starts
saying things like, “I need my space, but we can continue to date,” which is
Womanese for, “Please move out so I can change the locks and date your cousin.”
At this point,
many guys ignore what their stomachs tell them, and think that - against all
odds - things will turn around. Poor saps. They are like the guy on death row
who thinks the governor is going to call at 11:59 PM to save his
hide - fat chance.
A woman in
Stage Four may not be fully aware of her intention to dump you, but the truth
remains: she is building up the resentment needed so she will never have second
thoughts about coming back to you. She may linger in this stage for months,
even years - but no matter what you do at this point, your fate is sealed.
Stage Five, of
course, is execution day – the day she
breaks up with you. Her Interest Level has reached 39% and though you were out
long ago, she just can’t stand to see your face any longer. The day starts with
a big argument – that she sets up – and ends with her walking out of your life
forever.
George, based
on the information you gave me, I would put your girlfriend’s IL at Stage One.
To reverse this downward trend, you must add the Challenge that you’ve been
omitting from your relationship. Start by skipping half of your cigarette
breaks, and only accepting half of your girlfriend’s invitations to meet her
outside. Also, let her see you joke around with the other knockouts in the
office. When she confronts you about this, smile sweetly and say, “You know you
are the only one for me.”
These love
tactics will work, George. If they don’t - Heaven forbid - then your
girlfriend’s Interest Level has already reached Stage Four (49% IL).
Guys, because there is only a few points of Interest
Level in Stage Four before a woman drops you, always be the one to get out
first - it hurts a lot less. Remember the words of my cousin Fast Eddie Love:
“In the airplane of love, there’s only one parachute.” About the author Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in
his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do
you stay with one man versus another?"
Guys, e-mail me at doclove@doclove.com
with your love challenges. All will be answered, but because of space, only
letters of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The
"System" visit me at: www.doclove.com or
(800) 404-2644. Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who
coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of
women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" |