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I met Doron 18 months ago on line in a chat room. Initially we asked
one another the usual questions you ask when faced with yet another
user name. Like what made you chose that name and & what music do
you like listening to, etc. Nothing grabbed me about this guy atal. We
swapped email addresses, he lived in Holland and I'm in London. The
thing we do have in common though is that we're both Jewish.
A few emails were sent backwards and forwards probably over a period of
4 months during which time I was sort of seeing someone and he was just
about to finish with someone. We swapped pics, he was cute but I'd seen
so many cute pics and he lived in Holland.........
One day about 5 months after our initial contact I got a random email
from him to say that he's coming to London with a friend for 10 days,
he'd been saving up for ages and would I know any where cheap he could
stay. He found somewhere eventually and then asked if I'd have any
spare time to meet up, after all it would be nice to put a face to the
name. So we met on 18th December 2001 outside the famous Eros Statue in
Piccadilly but he was minus a friend. It turns out the friends
grandmother was ill so he couldn't make it.
The 10 days that followed were a whirlwind. It was like the Tasmanian
devil had swept into our lives, that's the only way I could describe
it. He was 22 at the time nearly 3 years younger than me and was going
back to Holland and I certainly had no idea that anything would happen.
I was lucky to get time off from work, so we spent a lot of time
together visiting art galleries and museums (most of which in all my 26
years living in London I had never seen). We chatted a lot went out for
dinner, saw a show, had long walks and even one day out side the
national gallery he turned up with a massive bunch of roses and one
single one. I was very flattered but oblivious to his intentions. I
could tell he was a nice boy but didn't think he liked me more than a
friend. The day he went back we realised how much of an impact we'd
made on one another and decided (unaware of the difficult times ahead)
that we were officially an item. I made the first move going on a guy
instinct but knowing he was shy. I simply came out with it; what would
you do if I went to kiss you? He said, that would be very nice.
Prior to becoming an item I'd invited him round to my house for dinner
and during desert and a chat with my mother we discovered that one of
his best friends (in Holland) is the son of an old friend who my mother
once worked with many moons ago (what a small world!). So that
certainly broke the ice and almost suggested that there was something
quite special between us.
So since then we are still living apart. Let me explain. Just before we
me, Doron had enrolled on a 4-year hotel and management course in one
of the top hotel schools in Europe. So, what with our many backward and
forward visits I decided to leave my last job January 2003 and find a
job in Amsterdam. My hunt was unsuccessful and me not working and being
without friends did put an unwanted strain on our relationship. So
after 2 months (financially I couldn't stay longer and pay rent there)
I decided to come back to London in March 2003. I have now found myself
a great job with prospects in London and have no intentions to leave
for along time. So it has been a difficult time. Fortunately Doron is
coming to London in 3 weeks to do 6 months work experience here, which
I am so looking forward to but after that things are unclear. We got
engaged last August but both know that it will be a while before we can
settle down. He'll have another 2 and half years left of his course
when he goes back to Holland next Jan so there's still a tough time
ahead.
I think the hardest thing has been that I've seen many of my friends
settle down in comfy relationships and move out of their parental home
and I can't do all of that yet. There are so many things to consider.
Essentially I still feel single, my single mates consider me as one of
them and often want me to go clubbing but I only really see that as a
place to meet a partner or go occasionally for someone's birthday. As
an engaged couple we haven't shared everyday experiences like other
couples do. Yes we've argued and gone through periods of uncertainty
about our future but we haven't paid bills or had late nights and early
mornings for work together yet. There are times when I may have had a
crappy day at work or felt down about something and obviously with a
long distance relationship there isn't the spontaneity of sharing it
with your partner, these are all things we have discussed.
Some might wonder why we got engaged and how do I know I want to spend
the rest of my life with this guy and vice versa. It's something we've
talked about a lot and also given one another the option to back out of
but it all comes down to a few simple things. We're sole mates there's
an unspoken feeling between us that says that there is no one else. We
both couldn't imagine sharing our lives with anyone else but each
other. We are often frustrated at the distance but equally excited
about our future together as man and wife and all the things that come
along with that.
There was time in the beginning when I'd be out with friends and spot a
handsome guy in a bar or restaurant and think mmm ... nice, now I think
nice looking but I'll stick with the most amazing guy! (Well almost
amazing!)
Michelle, United Kingdom
About the author
Loving your long distance relationship ... Love relationship advice, love advice and long distance relationship help for people in long distance relationships. Self help books on romance, love relationships, long distance
marriages, including online dating tips, relationship help, love advice and relationship problem suggestions! |
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