Eight Low Stress First Date Ideas
It’s always nerve
wracking trying to come up with an affordable, appropriate, interesting
first date idea. You don’t want to come across as too eager, too cheap,
or too dull. You don’t want to be unoriginal and do the same old
“dinner and a movie” thing. You also don’t want to over commit yourself
to someone you are just getting to know either. So what’s a person to
do?
First, don’t choose
an activity where you are going to be focusing on something other than
each other. Unless you are 100% sure that the best date of all time for
this person would be going to the movie, theater, or a concert where
you are going to be focused on the action on stage, save that for
another time when you know each other better. First dates are for
deciding if you want a second date. If you don’t even look at each
other most of the time or talk, how will you know?
Find out what the other person is interested in. If your date has fun, she’s more likely to feel that you
are fun and will want to see you again. On the other hand, if you
propose to go sailing and she afraid of water, you’re not likely to
even get a first date.
There is much more
pressure when a lot of money is spent on a date, it’s a fancy affair,
and it takes place in the evening. Choosing a daytime casual outing can
make things more relaxing and fun.
Here are eight ideas that incorporate all these suggestions:
Miniature Golf: This
is a casual date that allows you to focus on your partner, but not so
much that you risk getting stuck with nothing to say to each other. If
you go in a group, this takes the pressure off even more.
Zoo: Being at the zoo
is a good, flexible first date choice. Since there is no set start and
end time, you can dictate the pace. If things are going well, you can
linger over exhibits. If you’re struggling to get through, you can fly
right through the whole thing.
Coffee: Going for
coffee is a low-risk proposal. “Hey, we should have coffee sometime” is
a casual statement that people throw out on a regular basis. If you are
not sure if your prospective partner is interested in you, ask him out
for coffee and see if he later takes the initiative to suggest
something more.
Ice-cream: This is a
lot like asking someone out to coffee, but indicates more of an
interest than going to coffee. The underlying message of going for ice
cream is much more “datelike” than going for coffee. You also get the
bonus of it being inexpensive and short. You are not committing a lot,
but you can get a lot in return.
Carnival: Being at a
carnival can bring out the playful kid in anyone. Most people get
wrapped up in the atmosphere and let down their guard. This is an
excellent way to get to know someone, laugh, and have a lot of fun.
Live sports game: If
you are the type of person who sits in the stands and doesn’t say a
word, this is a lot like going to the movies. Forget this option for a
first date. If you are an active participant who cheers, yells, and
gets involved in the action, this is a great way to share your passion
with someone who also likes this activity.
Sports activity:
Physical activity focused on a common interest (like tennis or
rollerblading) is a fantastic way to get to know someone. Just make
sure that the focus is on fun, not winning.
Take a walk: There is
something very romantic about going for walks. The chosen scene should
be pleasant, like a beach, a park, or an arboretum. It’s rather
expected that if things are going well, you can hold hands. The
atmosphere invites you to linger. It also can provide inspiration for
things to talk about.
First dates can be
very stressful. By keeping it simple and choosing an activity that
appeals to your prospective date, you increase the odds that both of
you will have fun and that you will get to know if you want a second
date. About the author Laura Giles, MSW specializes in women's issues, relationships, and families with children from affairs. She is the author of "The Other Child: Children of Affairs" and "Growing Up Crazy." Laura is a frequent radio talk show guest. She does online counseling for clients across the country and can be found at http://healthy-living-solutions.com or by email at realassist@yahoo.com |